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Most people have so thoroughly accepted themselves as they are, they give little or no thought as to how they got that way.
In a large majority of cases, we are as we are owing to childhood influences. Most of the fears, phobias, inhibitions and complexes we carry through life were established in our minds when we were children.
Let us consider timidity, for example. Very few people ever become timid as adults. It is the suggestions regarding timidity which are given to us while very young which we enlarge upon and carry through life.
A mother might wish to show off little Mary before guests. She may ask Mary to recite, or to sing. For some reason, Mary hesitates; then her mother, without realizing the damage she is doing, will comment on how timid Mary is.
"When alone, she is a little chatterbox, but when company comes she shuts up like a clam," the mother will explain.
Such comments, in the presence of the child, will create a timidity consciousness. As Mary grows up she comments on her timidity, wishing she could be comfortable when in the presence of others, but admitting she can't because she is so timid. Those of us who know anything about the workings of the mind know that every time Mary gives voice or thought to her timidity, she is making it still worse. So, this lady goes through life, missing much enjoyment because of her timidity.
That feeling of insecurity so many people carry through life
was not developed when they were adults. Again we must lay the blame at the door of parents who know little or nothing of child psychology.
Little Willy is playing in the back yard and is warned: "You take care of those trousers—the good Lord only knows when you'll get another pair." If Willie leaves a crust of bread on his plate, he is told how many starving people there are who would love to have it, and he is further told that the time might come when he will wish he had it.
Willie goes through life never quite feeling secure. He fears doing anything which requires initiative because he thinks it might not turn out well.
I do not mean to imply that children should be reared to be wasteful and
careless; but they can be brought up without feeling that poverty is always
lurking around the corner.
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